Why does this feel like grief...when nobody died?
The losses we're told shouldn't matter.
Often we dismiss the small, everyday griefs (and sometimes, the Big Grief that accompanies a Big Loss). With a small loss, we tell ourselves it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. That we should get over it. Not be a cry baby about it. With a bigger loss, we often don’t know how to meet our emotions and we stay frozen.
We compare and judge what’s worthy of our grief and what isn’t. A death, a divorce, or a fatal drug overdose: now those are Big Losses that deserve to be grieved.
What about the following? Have you felt any of these? And have you swatted away at them dismissively because come on, nobody died.
Your friend rarely responds to your texts—and the connection you once shared now seems shaky.
Your body is struggling through menopause and aging—and you have such conflicting feelings around how you feel about your body.
You seem to have less and less in common with the friends group you’ve built over a decade—and this brings up so much sadness.
You’ve just sent your youngest off to college—and you find yourself constantly judging the bigness of your feelings around it.
Your partner and you have quietly drifted apart into your own orbits—and memories of the closeness you once shared brings a lump to your throat.
You’ve lost your sense of self working at a job that drains you but pays the bills—and you grieve the lost passions you never made time for.
Or maybe it’s grief you’ve never allowed yourself to feel for years because you live within a system that taught you to tough it out and destroyed your sweet, sensitive side.
If you recognized yourself in even one of these moments, you’re not being dramatic. You’re being human.
And sometimes the most healing thing we can do is give those feelings a place to be witnessed instead of brushed aside.
That’s exactly why I host a monthly Online Grief Circle.
If you’d like to join us, here are the details:
Date: March 25 (Wednesday)
Time: 2 pm CST/ 3 pm EST/ 7 pm UK
Where: On Zoom
Duration: 75 minutes
Pay what you can on a sliding scale of $15 to $35.
NOTE: Online Grief Circles will not be recorded to respect and protect the privacy of participants on the live call.
You’ll receive an email with the Zoom link on the day of our call.
Session Sequence
We’ll begin with a short centering practice to arrive together
I’ll share some thoughts on an aspect of the grief process
You’ll have an opportunity to share
We’ll close with a short reading
If some part of this email felt familiar — even a little — you’re welcome to bring that feeling to the circle.
Once a month, we gather in a small online space to give our grief a little air, a little attention, and a lot of compassion.
If that sounds supportive right now, you can join us here.
If you have any questions about the Circle, please don’t hesitate to email me at uma@umagirish.com
With deep care,
Uma